Every time I tell my story in front of a religious group the question comes up. I know it’s coming. I dread its coming. Because I still haven’t come up with a good answer.

What is the question?

“If God doesn’t make mistakes, then why are you transgender?”

Ooooof, right? I mean, where do you even start?

On the one hand, I kind of want to say, “Don’t know. Don’t care.” Mostly because the question never quite feels genuine. Or it feels like it’s a way to say that I am not really who I say I am. And listen, whatever your feelings about transgender people, we do actually exist. I am one of them.

So I tend to hem and haw a bit, trying to come up with something that will make sense and actually do what I believe justice.

Here’s the answer that I think doesn’t work (though I might have been guilty of giving it early in my transition): There are lots of things in the world that are bad: cancer, death, terminal illness, violence, war. The fact that those things exist isn’t a result of God making mistakes, it’s a result of the world being not as it should be.

Here’s why that answer no longer works for me: Cancer, death, violence, all of those things are unequivocally bad. There is no question that they are evil and terrible. So to equate being transgender with those evil things? It just turns my stomach. It makes being transgender a pathology. A liability. It makes it something to be eradicated. And there are enough people who are trying to eradicate transgender identity. We don’t need to throw fuel on that fire.

Another answer that seems slightly better but still leaves me unsettled is this: Well, there are a lot of things in the world that aren’t the ideal; they aren’t “God’s best” (to use an evangelical term). The reason it’s slightly better is that it acknowledges that being transgender is hard for a lot of people. It’s something we had to work hard to come to grips with. It adds stress and trauma into our lives. For some of us we do wish we weren’t trans (but that usually means we wish we were born with everyone knowing our actual gender). Again, though, this pathologizes being trans. It makes us seem like people to be pitied. It steals our agency. 

And it also erases this simple truth for me: I am a better person because I am transgender. I am a better man because I am transgender.

Had I been born a cisgender man I would have had a very different life. See, I was born into a fundamentalist evangelical household and church. I was born with a calling to ministry and an ability to lead. Had I been born a cisgender man those abilities would have been nurtured. I would have been given everything that I ever wanted probably without having to work very hard. I wouldn’t have had to question my faith or my place in the church. It would have been all laid out for me. It would have been easy.

But it’s been the hard that has taught me the most. It’s been the hard that has made me concerned with the outcast and the marginalized and brought me closer to the heart of Jesus and the Gospel. I have questioned my faith which means that it is mine. It’s not what was handed down to me, no it has been tried and tested. It has been strengthened. It has been made beautiful in the struggle.

My gender journey has taught me empathy and compassion. It’s opened my eyes to oppression and systemic injustice. Might I have learned all of that as a cisgender man? Maybe. But it’s unlikely.

So do I wish I had been born a cisgender man? Yes. And no. And yes. And no. 

Bottom line: This is who I am. And my faith is strong.

Does God make mistakes? Maybe God wanted me to be born a transgender man because God wanted me to learn all of the lessons I’ve learned and be exactly who I am. 

That is an answer I can live with.

Can I tell you a secret? The transgender people I know (myself included) are getting really tired of having to do transgender 101 talks wherever we go. And I’m not just talking about the ones that we do professionally or for our own churches, I’m talking about the ones that we have to do every single time we come out, the ones we do over coffee, and over Christmas presents, and over and over and over.

So this month, as Queer Theology focuses on transgender issues, I’m going to ask the cisgender folks to do all of the transgender folks a favor and read a few things. Like this article on transgender clobber passages, and this email exchange between a transgender man and his conservative mother, and these posts, too. If you want to dive deeper you can read Janet Mock’s Redefining Realness (which is what we’re reading in the Sanctuary Collective book club). If you need some help with terminology go here, or if you need some help understanding how sexual orientation and gender identity are different check this out.

By checking out these resources that have already been created, you free up the transgender folks in your life to do other things. Like worship in their own churches without having to always be “on” as an educator, you free us up to write theology (like my book Walking Toward Resurrection), and to do deeper work than just 101 stuff.

The 101 stuff is really important, we get that. There’s a lot to learn and for some folks it’s really overwhelming. So start with the stuff above!

Because when transgender folks are freed up to be their full selves the church (and our world) gets a really amazing gift. Transgender folks have so much to offer. We read Scripture with unique insights, many of us see life through a different lens that can broaden and deepen experiences of gender, of family, of binaries, and more. By doing your own work on the 101 you give yourself the gift of entering into deeper relationships with transgender people that are built on respect.

So that’s my message to cisgender folks. Now, to my trans folks:

Many of you have written in struggling with being your whole authentic self in the face of churches and theologies that tell you there is something wrong with you. Or you are living in families that refuse to acknowledge and honor you. I get it, my family is there, too. It’s hard and demoralizing and downright depressing some (most?) days. It can be hard to separate out what everyone else is saying from what your heart is saying. It can be hard to make space to hear your own soul speak to you when the noise of so many people close to you is so loud.

I want to encourage you to do something:

Step One:

Every time a negative thought about your gender identity or expression goes through your head I want you to stop for a minute and really examine it. Who’s voice is it in? When you hear it do you hear it in the voice of your mother? Or maybe your pastor? Maybe it’s your voice but when you sit with it for a bit you realize that it came from somewhere else first. Start identifying what voices are in your head. Maybe it’s time to set some boundaries around the people who are loudest. Can you get some distance from your family for a bit? Or from your church?

Step Two:

Next I want you to make a list of positive statements about your gender and identity. Here are a few to get you started: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” “I am whole and holy just as I am.” “I am created in the image of a God who defies gender.” Maybe you want to write down some quotes from people like Laverne Cox, Janet Mock, Tiq Milan, or others. Keep a jar of positive thoughts on notecards.

Step Three:

Now, every time you hear a negative statement, I want you to (immediately if you can) counter that negative statement with two positive ones. Every. Time.

Start to change the narrative in your own head from negativity to positivity. It’s the first step to wholeness and health and reclaiming your faith.

Other things you can do:

• Make a list of all of the things you love about your gender expression.
• Make a list of the things you love about being transgender or non-binary.
• Write about how your gender changes how you see the world.
• Make a video of yourself that celebrates who you are.
• Wear something that makes you feel the most yourself and take a selfie. Share it if you want or keep it just for you if you need to.
• Read about transgender people. Watch their videos online. Celebrate and embrace the amazing community you are a part of.
• Read this love letter from me to you when you are feeling down.
• Make a playlist of music from people who shatter gender expectations. Rock out to it.
• Listen to Namoli Brennet, a transgender musician who’s music is peppered through with amazing religious imagery.

You are not sinful and sick. You are beautiful and holy and whole. I know it can be hard to believe it sometimes, living in a world that so often screams the opposite. But it’s true, you just have to convince yourself of the truth.

“Is it OK to be Christian and transgender?” and “What’s it like to be a transgender Christian?” are questions I get asked from time to time.

Just the other day, I got asked this question: “What is different about the reasons Christianity uses to condemn trans folks than LGB folks?” It’s a really important question. 

Often people talk about the “clobber passages” about LGBT people and then only talk about the ones that deal with being LGB.

There are different issues at play here.

If you want to go deep into the Bible verses, check out Transgender: Theology, Ministry, and Communities of Faith by Justin Tanis. His is the absolute BEST 101 book about trans issues and the church. He covers what I’m about to outline in much more depth.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT “CLOBBER PASSAGES”

(7 AGAINST LGB FOLKS, 2 AGAINST TRANS FOLKS)

Clobber passages are what people call the verses that are often used to condemn LGBT people. Normally they pull out the same seven and use them to talk about the entire community but the typical seven are about LGB identity and not trans identity. When we look more closely at Scripture there are only two passages that seems to point to displeasure with transgender people. 

The first has to do with clothing.

Deutoronomy 22:5 (CEB) Women must not wear men’s clothes, and men must not wear women’s clothes. Everyone who does such things is detestable to the Lord your God.

This passage is found in the purity codes. One could make the argument that in these times the lines between “men’s” and “women’s” clothing is blurred to be pretty much meaningless. You could also make the argument that as a transgender man it would be against my nature to wear women’s clothing and so therefore I am abiding by the command.

You could also say that whatever gender you are, wearing clothing makes that clothing belong to your gender (hence a man who chooses to wear a skirt is wearing men’s clothing because he is a man). You can do a lot with this one passage.

The second has to do with genitalia:

Deuteronomy 23:1: No man whose testicles are crushed or whose penis is cut off can belong to the Lord’s assembly.

People sometimes use this verse to say that transgender women who choose to have gender confirmation surgery are to be excluded from the church. But we know that this verse is not practiced across the board in Christian traditions today. There are all kinds of reasons and ways a person might end up with genitalia that is crushed or injured. To apply the exclusion of the community only to transgender women is damaging and unfair. 

For both of these verses we can talk about historical and cultural context and we can also look at how Jewish scholars and theologians have handled these verses over the centuries to see that these are much more complex than simply a blanket condemnation. 

We’ll talk in a moment about why choosing verses out of context is unhelpful, but even if you did take these as your whole argument, it’s clear that the argument against transgender people is much weaker than the arguments against LGB people (and those arguments are pretty weak, too). 

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN IDENTITY AND BEHAVIOUR

I don’t mean to say that LGB identity is simply about behaviour (because it’s not) but in the narrative of Christian anti-gay rhetoric that’s what it comes down to. You could technically be LGB and not sinful so long as you didn’t act, sexually, on your feelings (so the story goes). For trans folks it’s not about sexual behaviour but about intrinsic gender identity.

This line does get blurred a bit when Christian folks deny the gender identity of a trans person and then accuse them of same gender sexual behaviour. (For instance if I, as a transgender man, had a relationship with a woman a Christian might say that I am in a lesbian relationship.)

That’s a basic overview of the condemning passages.

BUT REALLY, IS THIS CONVERSATION HELPFUL?

If someone has an issue with trans people, is my explanation of the TWO verses that seem to condemn transgender people really going to change their mind? I think not. Especially since we have been debating those seven clobber passages about LGB people for at least 30 years now and the debate is still just as heated.

Here’s what I think debating these passages does allow: It allows us to stay at a 101 level. It allows us to get caught in semantics and definitions of Greek and Hebrew words and allows us to continue to deny that we are talking about actual people with actual feelings and actual lives. It allows us to never move past this defensive posture of sin and apologetics. And so we proof text and argue and accuse and waffle. We bring out people who can debate both sides. We try to build bridges between different communities. This isn’t a helpful conversation.

As Brian says, we queer folks don’t have time for cheap theology. And this sort of proof texting is cheap theology at its worst. If you want to know what these passages say, read Justin’s book and then let’s move on.

INSTEAD HERE’S WHAT I THINK IS A HELPFUL CONVERSATION:

As we read throughout Scripture there are a large number of affirming passages for trans and gender non-conforming people. We find righteous women warriors, a wonderful passage in Isaiah about Eunuchs being given a name and a family, Jesus’ words of affirmation towards Eunuchs, the man carrying a jar of water in the Passion narrative, the Ethiopian Eunuch in Acts, and much more.

There is ample evidence that people who don’t conform to gender norms are not only accepted but celebrated throughout the Scriptures. So let’s start there.